A Fish Out of Water

Rain, rain

Rain, rain, don't go away. Little Shuma wants to play!

Yup, the kid loves rain, and who am I to keep him out of it? Thankfully his grandma sent him a raincoat a few months back, so he can keep dry in style. She sent some adorable rainboots too, but they're still too big so I got him a pair with froggies on them. He loves them and has been wearing them around the house, so was very glad to get to use them for their intended purpose.

Just one problem: he very quickly found a puddle that was deeper than his boots. Mom, you're going to have to send some thigh-high waders next!

 

Dinosaur Suit

Grandma sent this stripey number from Canada, and even though it's meant for the summer Shuma's already wearing it. A long-sleeved onsie and skinny pants add warmth without distracting from the friendly T-Rex.

Here's a closer look. I didn't think I'd get Shuma to stand still, but then he learned how to blow bubbles and all he wanted to do was stand around doing bubbles. I'm really proud of him, but it's kind of boring- when I was blowing bubbles for him at least I had something to do. He's cute to watch though, especially when he takes a break from blowing to say "Bubble" (pronounced "ba-bow" with a long, drawn-out last syllable).

This outfit even offers something for the back view, thanks to his nifty new shoes.

Thailand Day Two

Our second day was pretty uneventful, so I'll take this opportunity to show our hotel. We stayed in Kalim, a tiny bay just north of Patong, at Kalim Resort, and as I said in the last post the "resort" is a misnomer, but it was nice enough. When planning the trip it seemed to be the nicest hotel of all the affordable packages I saw, and it turned out to be clean, with spacious rooms, friendly staff (who totally doted on Shuma), a basic but nice pool, and decent breakfast.

The other guests mostly seemed to be on package tours as well, so I guess that's how they get most of their businesses. At least half of them were Japanese, with mostly Koreans and Europeans making up the rest. We heard so much Japanese at breakfast that we felt like we'd never left, and I got so used to it that one morning I couldn't understand the table next to me and asked my husband "Sore wa nani ben?" (What dialect is that?) to which he replied "Kankoku ben." (It's Korean). Which doesn't sound as good when translated into English but was pretty funny. I swear, Korean can sometimes sound a lot like Japanese.

Here's a mystery: despite all of the Japanese people at our hotel (and presumably other hotels, as Phuket is very popular with Japanese tourists), we never ever saw Japanese people when we were out. We'd occasionally see vans in the hotel parking lot being loaded or unloaded with them, but I have no idea where they went. And many of the girls were really dressed up, with the latest fashions and full make-up and fancy bouffant hairdos and high high heels, so they were going somewhere. Very strange.

Our room had both a double and single bed (when booking it seemed like all the rooms do), and we would much rather have had the extra space for Shuma to run around than the extra bed (not that the room was small though). They forgot the crib the first night and we were too tired to ask about it so we put Shuma to sleep in the single bed, and of course he fell out (landing of course on the hard floor instead of the extra pillows we'd put on down in anticipation of just such an accident). It bothered us more than it bothered him, though, and he was fine.

 

The crib appeared on the second day and everything was good after that. To prevent Shuma from breaking anything, we made a few rearrangements like unplugging the TV, hiding remotes and the alarm clock, and so on, and the cleaning staff left everything in place, which was appreciated.

The bathroom had both a bathtub and a spacious shower, big enough for Shuma and one of us to both fit comfortably. And plenty of space to put toilettries and stuff, which is great after years of Japanese hotels (and homes for that matter, including ours) that have absolutely nowhere in the bathroom to put anything.

The balcony was nice but had no chair (I think they would have brought us a plastic one if we'd asked, as some other balconies had them). We had a frangipani tree right outside our window and, like all rooms, a view of the pool.

So the downsides: it was rather bland and lacking in Thai character, and there was a mosque near by and the calls to prayer (particularly the one at dawn) were rather distracting. With the air conditioning on and balcony door shut it was hardly noticeable, but quite loud with the door open. The location was good in that it was away from the crowds of Patong yet close enough to get there if needed, by a long walk or short tuk-tuk ride. And bad in that it was not really close to anything else, so you had to pay to get anywhere and there weren't many options for meals nearby.

Here's the second day's breakfast: pad thai, seafood and vegetable stir-fry, rice and a fried egg.

Shuma ate well every morning, enjoying the noodles and rice and really liking the fruit. He also loved the juice, which we normally don't let him have full strength (he gets a juice diluted with water for breakfast only). On this day he drank way too much, too quickly, and shortly after this he spit up all over everything. It was amazing to see how quickly the staff, who before had been lavishing attention on Shuma, disappeared. When finally approached they were very very reluctant to give us extra napkins to mop things up. I didn't expect anyone to help us clean up- who wants to deal with baby vomit?- but geez, a few napkins are not a big deal. We ended up getting everything cleaned up and were careful with the juice after that, but boy were the staff cold that day.

So back to the room for a quick change of clothes. Then we headed to Phuket Town, which was kind of a mistake but I was hoping to find some sort of open-air market. We'd missed the famed weekend market the night before but I thought there still might be something. I also wanted to visit a western-style shopping centre to see if we could find swim diapers, as the ones we brought were too small. It turned out that the market we found had half their stalls closed (all of Phuket Town was like this, and we weren't sure if they were closed for a holiday or out of business or what) and Hideaki couldn't handle the smell so we had to leave (if I ever get my wish of a trip across Asia, he is NOT invited). Also, no luck on the diapers.

I had hoped Phuket Town would be more "authentic" than the other big centre, Patong, and I knew that hope was kind of a tourist's folly but I just had no interest in Patong. Phuket Town seemed to be halfway between a real working city and a tourist town, but not in a great way, and it illustrated the problem with our whole trip: if I'd wanted to see the "real" Thailand I wouldn't have come to Phuket, yet we didn't want to be stuck in tourist traps. Maybe as inexperienced travellers with a baby this problem is inevitable, but what a waste of a morning.

I did get to try milk tea at a nice little cafe, which was delicious. This was one of the few pictures taken that morning. Yes, I'm still nursing Shuma, which really comes in handy while travelling (especially on the plane), and I was a bit nervous about doing it publicly in Thailand since I knew Thais are fairly conservative and don't appreciate skimpy clothing, public displays of attention, and the like. But I was discreet and always covered up, and although I never saw any other nursing mothers I also didn't notice any disapproval. Who knows what the locals really thought (if they even noticed), but I don't think I caused any great offence.

Lots of Thais really seem to like children, and Shuma got so much attention. He (and we) liked it, but I could see some parents not being comfortable with all all the unsolicited cheek pinching and funny faces. One thing I noticed: I didn't see a single Thai child or baby in a stroller, they are carried everywhere. The tourists I saw with strollers seemed to be having a difficult time on the narrow streets and bumpy sidewalks, and I was glad we hadn't brought ours. I also only saw just one (apparently) Thai baby in a sling, otherwise baby carriers don't seem to be used much. I wonder if it's different in the deep countryside or in more affluent urban centres.

The food stalls we came across seemed to mostly have snacks (are food stalls more of a night thing maybe?) so we ended up at a rather touristy restaurant. Hideaki had fat noodles in soup with shrimp and some sort of lime soda, both good.

Shuma and I shared rice, and it came out shaped like a bear! I saw this a few times, maybe it's standard for kids.

I had larb gai (spicy ground chicken), one of my favourite Thai foods. This was ferociously spicy and very good. So we did get some good food. After that we did the only shopping of the whole trip: I bought a shirt for Shuma at a souvenir shop next to the restaurant, and we got obligatory souvenirs for people back home at a supermarket. The supermarket was pretty fun actually, and I wish we'd bought more stuff. We bought spicy fried broad beans which were amazing and couldn't find them anywhere else when we looked, and they don't seem to be available in Japan. I will have a look at the Asian markets when I'm Canada next month.

Back in Kalim we spent some time on the small beach. We'd been warned that this was a working beach used by fishermen, and that there was no swimming, but there were lounge chairs and parasols and a few tourists in the water. I did find a fishing hook in the sand so wouldn't come back without water shoes or sports sandals, at least for Shuma. It certainly isn't the prettiest beach in the world, but n0t bad for just a few minutes' walk from our hotel.

Here is Shuma eating the best popsicle in the world. Passion fruit flavour, bought from the local Family Mart (this Japanese convenience store chain was all over) for next to nothing, and so so good. I made the mistake of giving some to Shuma before I'd even had half, wanting to see how he'd react to his first popsicle ever. And of course I never got it back. I meant to buy another but never got the chance, and now I would do almost anything for another one.

Dinner was at a local street stall, a semi-permanent one (I wonder if there are different terms for the various types of food stalls?). I had curried pork on rice, and Hideaki had fried noodles, both coming with a simple but tasty soup. I keep saying this about every meal, but man was this good. The stall, like most in this area, was geared to locals but had a sign in English that could be pointed to to order. None of the vendors we bought from on the trip could speak English beyond numbers, but all were either tolerant of tourists or downright friendly. This place was really friendly and they were the only ones that offered us the proper set of condiments (fish sauce, chili powder, vinegar and sugar) for the noodles, other restaurants and stalls seemed to offer them only to Thais (or be too touristy to even have them).

We got a few snacks from another street stall on the way home: deep-fried bananas and sweet potatoes and a fresh mango, all of which made a fine dessert. Too dark for pictures.

More pictures here.

Thailand Day One

Yes, that's right, day one of a vacation we took a month and a half ago. I'm going to make you slog through several posts about the trip, because I took hundreds of pictures and if I post them all at once then your scrolling finger will get all tired out.

So anyway, we went to Thailand last month. This trip was a long time coming, in a few ways. First of all, we've never had a proper family vacation. I don't just mean with Shuma, I mean Hideaki and I. We've been married 12 years, and have done some travelling together, but no real vacation with just the two of us, as defined by getting on a plane and going somewhere tropical or romantic or otherwise nice. No honyemoon even.

Also, I've wanted to visit Thailand for a long time, I guess ever since I fell in love with Asia on a trip to Bali seventeen years ago. Shortly after that I moved to Vancouver, where my aunt and cousins lived, and hearing my cousin Jen talk about backpacking around the world, especially about Thailand, made me want to go even more. You might have heard this story before, so here's the short version: I had big plans to become a world traveller, or at least spend a year or so backpacking through Asia, but funds were short. I ended up in Japan, partly because that was where it was supposed to be easiest to make money, and partly because- Japan! It wasn't my ultimate goal, but it seemed like a cool place to stay for a while. It was, and I stayed longer than I had planned, because I was spending money on having fun instead of saving up for my big trip, and also, I met Hideaki. And I stayed and stayed and never went to Thailand or anywhere else, and the years went by and now I'm too old for backpacking and still don't have the money for it anyway plus I have some extra baggage now (adorable and still fairly portable baggage, but probably not welcome in a youth hostel). I've accepted that I am not ever going to go gallivanting across Asia.

But a package tour to Phuket, the most touristy resort in Thailand? That's doable. It was a typical Japanese tour, which means way too short, but Hideaki was a bit worried that Shuma wouldn't do well on a longer trip. It was six days, but only four actually in Thailand, and it was arranged with the busy Japanese worker in mind: the flights were at night, so on the way we left in the evening and arrived at our hotel at some crazy time like 4:00 in the morning, with a short stop in the completely closed-up Hong Kong Airport on the way. Not a nice way to travel, but Shuma was well-behaved and you can't ask for more than that when traveling with a toddler.

So this is Shuma on our first morning, after just a few hours sleep. He looks pretty good, considering. We're at the hotel's buffet breakfast and he's eating a finger banana, which I got really excited about because Shuma is always starting a banana and then only eating a third of it. But with these little guys he could eat the whole thing! But no, it turns out that no matter what size the banana is, he'll eat exactly a third of it.

We stayed at Kalim Resort, which was not a resort at all but a budget hotel, and it was OK. The breakfasts were pretty good, with a good range of fresh fruit, western-style stuff like pastries, breads, cereal, ham and eggs, and four Thai dishes as well as rice. The pastries were really good, with croissants equal to what we get in Japan (which means way better than in Canada). That was unexpected. The fruit on the first morning included, above, finger bananas, papaya, dragon fruit, green and yellow melon, and star fruit. I discovered that I actually like dragon fruit, and after looking it up it seems that it only gets tasty when fully ripe. So the times I've tried it in Japan it just wasn't ripe yet.

Next was the Thai food: some fat fried noodles, cherry tomatoes simmered in some sort of tasty sauce, park and vegetable stir-fry, rice, and a fried egg with a nice runny yolk on top. It was very mild and I have no idea how authentic it was, but it was fresh and tasty and they did have various sauces to spice it up with.

So instead of a nice relaxing day after our long night of travel I arranged a day-long boat tour. It was awesome though. It was with River Rovers, and we we toured Chalong Bay and a tidal river in a little river cruiser. It was very slow, in a good way, because Shuma is not quite ready for a speed boat and the views were so pretty it would be a shame to rush by them.

This is the captain, Gordon.

We were joined by Barbara from Australia.

And there's me on the deck.

Soon after we took off (set sail? I lack a good seafaring vocabulary) we were served juice and beautifully cut fruit by Luk, Gordon's partner. We were also offered beer but as we were barely keeping awake we refrained. Water was constantly offered as well.

We chugged across the bay, which was a thousand times more beautiful than these pictures show and also a real working bay, with sailboats from around the world at anchor and plenty of local fishing boats coming and going.

Also lots of floating fish farms, which is how many locals make their living. These, like almost everything else in Phuket, were all built after the tsunami in 2004, which devastated the area.

We entered the Mudong River, which is completely tidal- it fills up its entire length and empties out twice a day.

And then we anchored and we paddled over to the mangroves on two sea kayaks. I wore Shuma in the carrier and Hideaki paddled, and we were both a bit nervous, but it was really shallow and there wasn't really much danger (Shuma did have a life jacket on).

Each kayak had a big bowl of bananas, and some hungry locals were waiting for us.

These are Long-tailed Macaques, which are very similar to Japanese macaques (except for the, well, long tails). I was a bit nervous, as the wild or semi-wild monkeys I've had experience with in Bali and Japan were very aggressive, but they were quite timid and gentle. At first we had to throw the bananas, but after a while they were grabbing them from our hands and even coming on to the kayaks. They warmed up much more quickly to Barbara, perhaps because they find females less intimidating (this is certainly true with some monkey troupes in Japan, which are known for attacking women but avoiding men). Or maybe they just liked her better.

 

 

When we'd all had enough of each other we continued up the river. It was pretty but not stunning, and we saw a few birds: snowy egrets, cormorants, and a beautiful kingfisher (three were spotted but I only saw one). I think it was a Blue-eared Kingfisher (there were a few bird and nature guides on board), which is has a brilliant royal-blue back, quite different from the turquoise coloured kingfishers I see in Japan.

 

As a working river there were fishing huts, boat launches and a few other structures here and there, and we were passed by a few longboats (the ubiquitous style of boat seen below).

We had to turn back before we got to the end of the river as the tide was about to change and we didn't want to get stuck. Back near the bay we saw another small tour boat with some folks trying out sea kayaks, which was one of maybe two times we saw other tourists the whole day.

Luk brought out some fries and chicken wings, which were amazing and even though we weren't at all hungry (it was still morning, and we'd had a huge breakfast at the hotel and all that fruit) we devoured them.

  

And you can't have chicken wings without beer. Holy cow, if we weren't suffering from a lack of sleep and responsible for a small child we could have had a lot of this stuff.

The next stop was a floating fish farm. Mostly it was tropical fish that had been caught at sea and were waiting to be sold to the local aquarium, but there were also fish for eating, and lobsters and oysters as well.

We learned the names of them all but I forget, and in any case it was hard to get pictures. These ones above look drab here but the blue markings were quite stunning.

These ones are good eating and apparently popular in Australia. I think these are young ones and they get much bigger.

This is a mix of tropical fish and eels, including a rather disgruntled lionfish. The enclosures weren't as small as they look here- the nets were just pulled up to give us a look at the inmates. Angelfish and a morray eel can be seen below.

This red coral was being grown for the aquarium, and is especially valuable as Phuket had a coral bleach event a few years back and is only just starting to recover.

Jeuvenile blacktipped sharks maybe?

I got to hold on to this one's tail. It felt like an emery board.

I also got to hold this pufferfish!

The lobsters and oysters are raised for local restaurants, and shortly after this our boat became a floating restaurant.

We bought one each, and the owner of the fish farm boiled them and we ate them on the boat. They were quite a bit cheaper than in a restaurant, but not exactly dirt-cheap. They were good and had a lot more meat than I expected, and the flesh in the legs (and feelers even) was tasty. With the clawed lobsters we get in Canada the meat in the smaller legs tends to get overcooked and is usually not worth eating. But Canadian lobsters are tastier overall (and they have claws!), and I think warm-water lobsters are just not as good. Oh my god, I sound like I'm complaining- I'm not, these were good.

I did not expect to eat raw oysters on this trip. These were delicious- very meaty, with a shellfishy flavour, if that makes sense (I mean, no melon notes or sweet flavours like you sometimes get with other types of oyster, just pure seafood flavour), and clean tasting.

 

Our next stop: this tiny little island. It had a small sandbar which became our private beach for a few hours.

 

Shuma napped on the boat for a little while leaving us to swim together for a while, and when he woke up we took turns on the sea kayak.

This was Shuma's first time on an ocean beach and he was a bit nervous at first, but he got used to his new environment pretty quickly.

Yes, that's a big rip in his swim diaper. It's a leftover from last year and I didn't realize he'd grown out of that size since then. I'd forgotten to bring his (and my) bathing suit that morning, but luckily had this diaper on me. Not that he even needed it, on our own private beach.

And I look like a dork in Hideaki's shorts, but again- private beach!

I also didn't realize how silly I looked on the back seat of the sea kayak, I just chose it because it was the deepest and I figured the closer to the water I am, the better. Guess what, nobody complained- private beach! It was my first time sea kayaking and boy was it fun. I would love to kayak from island to island, and some day when Shuma is old enough to come with us (or be left with a sitter) I will do that.

And then lunch. All that food before? Just snacks. Luk first brought out tom yum gung (spicy shrimp soup), which was very good but not nearly as hot as it's supposed to be. Which was appreciated, as I definitely can't handle authentic Thai spiciness, but this could have had a bit more heat. Not complaining- this was excellent!

Next, steamed rice and spicy clams. These little clams were so sweet and tasty.

Pork and egg stir-fry.

Pork, shrimp and vegetable stir-fry. There was one, maybe two other dishes I didn't get a picture of, and they were all amazing. All of them spiced for tourists, although they did contain some chilies and I earned a reputation for wimpiness when I ate one and turned bright red. The problem is that it's hard to tell the difference between sweet red peppers (you can see one above) and the fiery hot ones when they're chopped up small. But the hot ones are very potent!

After lunch we headed to a snorkeling spot. The coral was indeed completely bleached, which was eerie (I saw only two live corals, everything else was greyish white). But there were plenty of beautiful tropical fish and crazy spiny purple starfish. I even saw a few anemones and clownfish, little black ones. Also some tiny needlefish and lots of angelfish, parrotfish, and puffers. Unfortunately Hideaki's mask and snorkel malfunctioned and he had a rough time, and I lent him mine so had to swim back without a mask. Next time I'll bring our own equipment.

Shuma's mask worked just fine, and it took some practice but he eventually got the hang of the snorkel too. Just kidding, he stayed on the boat with Luk.

And then we headed back to shore. By now the bay was quite crowded with returning fishing boats and tourist speed boats (which all looked really crowded and we were glad to be on our slow, spacious little boat). It was a fantastic day and we were sorry the tour was over.

We returned to our hotel and then set out on foot looking for somewhere to eat. We were in kind of a remote area called Kalim, which is north of Patong (the major tourist area on the island). All the restaurants were too fancy and after walking what seemed like forever we ended up at a strip of food stalls. These were completely touristy, but we were too tired and hungry to pretend we were anything other than tourists. This was a Sunday night and later we found out that lots of places are closed Sundays, and the other nights we saw lots of smaller restarauants and stalls open, so we picked the wrong night to look for a place to eat.

So there's Hideaki looking almost asleep, with a lemon shake (they call these slushy-like drinks "shakes" there) and a beer.

We had pad thai, some kind of stir-fry that isn't in this picture, sauteed phak bung (water spinach, that hollow-stemmed green), and tod man gung (fried shrimp cakes). These last two were amazing, and the staff were so nice to us, especially Shuma. He got lots of attention and a toy to play with and a free plate of watermelon, which we felt bad about because Hideaki and I hate watermelon and Shuma could only eat a few bites.

We worked off some of the feast on the long walk home, and slept very well that night.

See more pictures here (and note that some pictures from the tour are not my own).

I love dirt

Here's a t-shirt Grandma sent from Canada with a very gender-stereotyped message. It is also true, and also very colourful so I'm not complaining. You could find many similar things in Japan only they'd be navy or brown or some other drab colour and the English would be wrong or just weird. It would probably say "HAPPY TIME WITH DUST EXCITE!!!" with a few additional phrases to fill up any blank spaces ("BOYS JOY LIFE", "GREAT PLAY", "GO GO VEHICLE!!"). So I like this shirt.

Paired with pants sent last fall (they still fit!), a navy onesie (doesn't fit but I refuse to give up on it) and a backpack, full of his most treasured possesions (snacks, a cat puppet).

Cherry blossoms

I couldn't let spring arrive without a few cherry blossom pictures, and here they are. Really just a few this year, at least of the flowers still on the trees.

Thanks to plenty of wind and rain, and a great big storm, the blossoms didn't spend much time on the trees, and now wherever you go you get to walk on carpets of pale pink petals.

The sight of the petals falling to the ground, like a gentle snowfall, is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Shuma thinks so too, and when he sees a petal falling he points to it and says "bubble". Close enough.

Another sight, less well-celebrated than falling petals, can only be seen when riding the bus during a rainfall at the end of the cherry blossom season. The rain knocks the petals from the trees and then sticks them to the windows of the bus, treating passengers to a close-up botany lesson. Or at least giving them something to look at other than adds for local dentists and pachinko parlours.

Easter

Although we didn't do anything special for Easter at home this year (I can barely remember what my family does- I think it involves ham maybe?) Shuma got to participate in two Easter egg hunts. That's him above with his bunny bag that we'd made the week before at Polar Bear Club, one of our playgroups. Well, I did most of the making, his main job was tearing off the whiskers. Which he has a real talent for!

The PBC's (Polar Bear Club) egg hunt was at Koishikawa Botanical Garden, which has some beautiful old cherry trees that are just gorgeous when blooming. There were a few trees in bloom but it was a bit early for most of them, but the main problem was the weather- one of the biggest storms in decades was due to hit that afternoon.

So we got right to it, with some moms reading Easter books while others hid the eggs, and then we let the kids loose. Shuma was too little to really participate in the PBC egg hunt last year so this was basicly his first time, and he needed to have the first few eggs pointed out to him.

Which kind of felt like cheating, but when I saw how carefully he picked up the eggs and put them in his bag, and how proudly he carried that bag around, I figured I'd helped exactly enough.

After the hunt the kids checked out their loot and did some sharing and trading, and we had a very quick lunch.

Shuma ate one piece of avocado, all of the chickpeas, and not a single bite of anything else in the lovinvly prepared bento. Sigh.

Then we had to hurry home to avoid the wind and rain, and also a looming tantrum: I'd foolishly given him a piece of candy and he wanted more (a soft kind, don't worry- what are those little white pill-shaped candies that have the texture of chalk called? grr, that's going to bother me now). Thankfully he's still easily distracted, and the walk home did the trick.

It was a really nice walk, actually. A good portion of the way from the park to Myogadani Station is along this cherry blossom-lined street, and a section of the median has a nice walkway, sculptures and even a little river. Koishikawa and this road are definitely top on my list of cherry blossom viewing spots for next year.

The next egg hunt was with Oizumi Playtime, another playgroup. This one is run by my friend Ayako and myself, and for Easter we invited our members' families and friends to our local park for a picnic. We snagged a spot near the only cherry tree in bloom.

We made paper Easter baskets while the dads hid the eggs. It was their first time hiding eggs, and for most of the kids it was their first time finding them.

Shuma, however, is now a seasoned pro so he found four eggs, without us having to point any out! He's such a fast learner. A real genius, I tell you. Of course, the winner of the hunt found eighteen, so Shuma has some practice to do before he can truly compete at the highest level.

Then the kids were free to play, and of course Shuma wanted bubbles. So bubbles he had, until Hideaki was out of breath. Good news for him though: a few days later Shuma learned how to blow bubbles on his own, so he's off the hook. I told you Shuma was a genius!

Note that the photos from the second event aren't mine. I was too busy being proud of my genius son to take any pictures myself.

At the Zoo

 

Today Shuma and I went to the Inokashira Park Zoo with one of our playgroups. It was his first visit to a zoo, and my first time at the main section of this particular one- the zoo is actually split into two parts, with a smaller section inside Inokashira Koen, the park in Kichijoji. That part only has a few aquariums and birds, and when I went years and years ago I thought that was the entire zoo and came away rather disappointed.

But the main section is way better, if only because of the guinea pig petting zoo. I love guinea pigs and used to have one of my own, so I was thrilled to get a chance to cuddle with one again. When Shuma saw the box full of piggies he was immediately interested but quite nervous, and it took a while for him to get close. When I finally picked one up and showed him how to touch it gently he relaxed and petted it a for a while, and we both giggled as it licked our fingers.

Eventually he started poking its eyes though (do all toddlers do this or is Shuma a little freak?) so we had to put the piggy back, but it was so nice to play with it. Now I want to get a guinea pig of my own. Probably a very bad idea.

The zoo is very small and we saw everything fairly quickly, but the grounds were fairly nice with some cherry trees just coming into bloom. Shuma was just as impressed with the grass and trees and fences as he was with the animals- the few animals he noticed at all he pointed at, said "doggy" and moved on. Except for the owl, which he identified correctly ("ooh ooh!"). Owls are his favourite animals after dogs.

The zoo's most famous exhibit is Hanako the elephant, who at 65 is the oldest Asian elephant in Japan. She has had a hard life and seeing her in her concrete jail cell made me sad. A lot of the animals there were also trapped in tiny concrete pens but Hanako was the sorriest looking. I wish the whole zoo was just guinea pigs and farm animals, it would be just as fun for the kids and way less depressing for the adults.

Here's Shuma playing with Hiyori, the closes thing he has to a playmate, and her older sister Jessica, who watches over Shuma like she were his sister too. The kids got to fool around after a picnic lunch and then we saw the rest of the zoo, and I was hoping to pet some more guinea pigs but Shuma fell asleep.

So I walked around Inokashira Koen to see the cherry blossoms. They were only just starting, but it was a nice way to let Shuma nap and get myself some exercise. I wanted to stay in Kichijoji a little longer but it's been so long that I've been there that everything seemed unfamiliar and I didn't know where to go. Weird, I used to work there and live nearby and hung out there all the time. So when Shuma woke up we just caught the bus home. If only the bus ride weren't so long and so crowded (and so full of old people who deserve seats more than we do- not fun standing up and carrying Shuma for 45 minutes) we'd be hanging around in Kichijoji and cuddling guinea pigs all the time.

 

Inokashira Shizen Bunkaen (Inokashira Park Zoo)
1-17-6, Gotenyama, Musashino-shi, Tokyo
0422-46-1100
Open Tuesday to Sunday 9:30 to 5:00, closed Mondays (closed Tuesday instead when a public holiday falls on a Monday)
Admission 400 for adults, 200 yen for seniors, 150 yen for students 13 to 15, free for children 12 and under
Stoller and wheelchair accessible, nursing room and change tables available.

Beachwear

Here is Shuma modelling his various beach fashions in Thailand earlier this month. First we have a simple look consisting of a Nemo-adorned swim diaper paired with a drawstring hat.

The ripped look is is still going strong, so it wasn't a problem when mom accidentally poked a hole in the too-small diaper (a leftover from last summer).

 

Of course, the only essential item on the beach is a hat; diapers and swimsuits are completely optional.

The feeling of the waves gently lapping at your bits? That's what freedom feels like.

Of course, there's a fine line between enjoying the freedom of the naturist lifestyle and plain old flaunting, so to avoid looking like too much of a show-off Shuma did occasionally wear this modest one-piece. It features a snorkeling otter and slimming side panels.

The same old headgear can get boring though, so for extra sun protection a glamorous oversize sun hat is just the ticket.

The versatile one-piece segues perfectly from beach to work. Here Shuma takes an important business call on his phone.

His coconut phone. It's the latest thing in Thailand.

Progress Report

Yesterday Shuma turned one and a half, and I just realized I'm overdue for a progress report. So I thought I'd list his recent developments and add a bunch of pictures that I haven't got around to sharing yet.

Yesterday we were at a picnic in the park and there were bubble-blowers galore, and he learned a new word: "bubble". Like a lot of his words, this is one I didn't specifically teach him, he just absorbed it and suddenly started saying it, over and over and over. He's still talking about the bubbles. I guess there will be a point where that repetitiveness gets boring, but it was pretty cute yesterday.

His vocabulary is still pretty small. His first word, other than "mama" and "dada" was "ba", which originally could mean bus, ball, balloon, or banana (and maybe bird). He still says it for ball or balloon (or anything round or puffy) and bus. Most vehicles, including airplanes and trucks, are also called ba, but he's starting to differentiate. Motorcycles, trucks and any really noisy vehicle sometimes get called "ah-ah-ah", said really loudly. Train is "dadoonda", and sometimes cars are "ga-ga". Ga-ga is what he calls seashells which is a mystery. It may come from kaigara (Japanese for seashell), which I may have said maybe once, and weeks before he said it. It's amazing what kids soak in even when it seems like they're not paying attention. What the connection between seashells and cars is, he's not saying.

Banana is now "blaba", as are all fruits, vegetables and drinks. With dogs, he's fully bilingual: "doggy" in English and "wanwan" in Japanese. Of course, all animals (and sometimes people) are doggies, which makes sense as it originally was pronounced "yagi" and referred to rabbits, which are called usagi in Japanese. For some reason he reserves "wanwan" just for real dogs though.

Ladybug is "dayday", moon is "mum". He says "yay" and "ii ne" (Japanese for "great" or "sounds good") when he's happy or impressed.

He has a few made-up words: "guri" or "gori", which seem to be all-purpose nouns and also his babbling words (when he pretends to talk like grownups), and "baboomba", which he just likes saying and doesn't actually mean anything. Dadoonda, his word for train, seems to be a combination of baboomba and densha (train in Japanese).

That's about it, he's not much of a talker. We've caught him babbling in his crib by himself in the morning (the rare times he doesn't wake us up by crying) and he likes to say "guri guri gori gori" on real and pretend phones, but mostly he still gets by with gestures. Typical baby gestures, like hands up for "pick me up", reaching out for "give me that". His one special gesture is for "where", which is both hands out and facing down, palms up. He can combine that with a word, so if he says "ba" with his palms out he's asking where the ball is.

He can walk and climb and stack a few blocks and do all of the typical physical stuff. He doesn't really run yet but loves to dance, which involves stamping his feet, spinning around, and squatting and slapping his knees. He has a good sense of humour and likes making silly sounds and and doing silly stuff like rolling around on the floor and hiding behind furniture. Last week he made real joke for the first time: he did a little fart, which caused me to laugh, so he made a raspberry sound with his tongue and we both cracked up. I'm sure I won't think it's nearly so funny when he's four and obsessed with toilet humour though.

He's been able to do conceptual stuff for a few months now, like hugging a doll or pretending to feed us or a stuffed animal; retaining memories (he'll say "doggy" on a certain corner even when there are no doggies, because he usually sees them there, and he calls a certain store "blaba" because we sometimes buy bananas there) and naming and pointing to objects pictured in a book.

He still doesn't nap regularly, unless he's being held or in his carrier or stroller, and then it's for short times. I worry that he doesn't get enough sleep, as he wakes up before 7 and no matter what time I try to put him to bed he won't sleep until at least 8:30. He's not a picky eater over all, but his tastes change daily and I never know what he's going to reject. But generally he likes fruit, soft meats like chicken and fish, beans, and carbohydrates like rice, pasta and udon noodles. He doesn't like bread at all though and has little interest in eggs, beef and tofu.

He is just starting to actually play with other kids. Like most kids his age he likes to be around other kids but plays beside them rather than with them, but recently he does interact a bit with others, especially kids he already knows from his playgroups. He also really picks up on the energy of other kids, so when there is a room full of kids running wild he'll be running around too. With older kids he just likes to watch, as if he's studying them.

He doesn't have any preference yet for "boy" toys and activities yet: he equally loves cars and vehicles, and gender neutral stuff like animals, and playing house with food and dishes. One thing he hasn't shown any interest in is arts and crafts, but I'm hoping that will come later. He loves books though, which I'm really happy about. We have tonnes of them and we read several before bed, and he flips though them by himself all day.

He is a fairly easy going and happy kid, but he can be a bit clingy when he's tired or overwhelmed. When we're out he can be really adventurous, and will wander off by himself. He is not afraid to be out of our sight and we're going to have to start being careful, as I almost lost him at the park a few times the other day. He is not one of those kids who clings to his parents when he's out. At home though he's different, and likes to be in the same room as me at all times, if not on my lap. He still nurses frequently (it's pretty common to continue nursing past two years in Japan) and when we're home it can be hard to get anything done because he demands so much attention.

He is just starting to display real toddler behaviour though. Last week he had his first tantrum, which seems a bit early, but it was a fairly mild one. I gave in because I honestly didn't know what to do: I didn't expect tantrums until later so hadn't read up on them. He is also starting to express anger and frustration by throwing things, and recently even sometimes hits and bites. A few days ago I made the mistake of wearing earrings (I hadn't tried it in months and wanted to see if it was safe. It wasn't), and he pulled one, really hard, and while I was trying to get him to let go he pulled my hair with the other hand and while I was trying to untangle myself he went and bit my nose. That's the worst he's done so far and if I wasn't so pissed off about it I might be kind of proud, because that was quite the move.

All in all he's a pretty normal toddler, not too advanced or behind on any of the major milestones. I am already nostalgic for his baby days and am a bit scared of the next few years, as sometimes I don't think I have the patience for tantrums and boundary testing and all of that. But then he goes and does something cute and I think that maybe I can handle it.

Resort Wear

This Resort Wear edition of Fashion Show features Shuma on location in Phuket. He wears an outfit that announces "I am on vacation in Thailand!" consisting of a nifty hat, a Thai fisherman's shirt, and beige shorts. Yes they're shorts, but he's wearing them low, though less due to personal style and more to do with a full diaper. Accessories (snazzy sunglasses, sandals and sippy cup) not shown, either because they were losing or stored away in mom's bag. Two bags, actually, giant ones, but I'm used to that; what really bothered me was losing his sunglasses before he even got to use them. But I'm used to losing stuff too.

Anyway, the fisherman's shirt is a type that was ubiquitous in souvenir stalls, often plain for adults and with some kind of elephant-related design for kids. Surprisingly we didn't buy it in Thailand- it was a hand-me-down we got in Tokyo- but I'm glad we brought it because it looked really cool and comfortable on him. I bought another in a larger size but that was the only thing we bought the whole trip (other than a few food-related obligatory souvenirs) and now I regret not getting one for Hideaki. Oh well, we'll just have to go back.

More pictures to come soon!

We're out of here!

We're leaving for a family trip tonight, and Shuma's about to undergo a magical transformation- from snowsuit to sunglasses in just four days!

Yup, on Wednesday (a leap day!) we had the biggest snowfall ever (no really, for Shuma it was the biggest snowfall ever). It was up to his knees, deep enough for him to get stuck and fall over, which was cute to watch and didn't seem to bother him much, he was a trooper. The snow is pretty much gone now, but it's still cold enough for us to be really glad to be getting out of here.

So where are we going? Well, somewhere with beautiful beaches where Shuma will need those sunglasses, but definitely not the fleece pj's. A place that shares a continent and religion with Japan, as well as another distinction: they are both among the few Asian countries never to have been colonized. We're going to be saying the word "pak chee" a lot: Hideaki to request it be left of his plate, me to ask for it to be piled on. It's a place I've wanted to visit for ever and ever, so am almost dying of excitement to finally be going.

Can you guess where we're going for our first-ever family vacation? In the meantime, here are some more pictures from Wednesday, starring Shuma and his friend Hiyori.

 

 

Gaijin

I thought I had more time to figure this all out. My son is barely one year and five months old, and at this age he and his peers are a long way from noticing that some people look different. Surely I have a year or two to decide what labels I'll use, and allow others to use, and how to react when people use the wrong ones.

It's not that I haven't given it any thought- I've given it plenty. But I hadn't really come to a conclusion yet, and it turns out that I've been focusing on the wrong problem: whether or not to use the term "hafu". It is a troublesome term, no doubt, but it's not the term that ignorant Japanese people use when they find the need to point at my child and call him names. Shuma, with his dirty blond hair, pale skin and caucasian features, doesn't really look like a "hafu", so he gets called "gaijin".

Friday wasn't the first time, but the other times involved adults who didn't really mean it in a bad way. They were calling to their wife to come look at the cute foreign kid, or explaining to their child that Shuma didn't answer them because foreigners can't speak Japanese. Um, no- he didn't answer because he was a BABY, moron mom, and babies can't talk, but never mind, and never mind that my son is not an exhibit in a zoo to be gawked at, moron husband. And neither of you need to mind that Shuma is not in fact a foreigner, because I don't have time to waste on idiots like you. You're all grown up and a lecture from me won't change the fact that you're a twat.

But when another kid calls my son "gaijin" it's another story, a story that ended with me in tears. I probably need to develop a thinner skin (how is it that I get more sensitive the longer I live in Japan? And isn't motherhood supposed to make me stronger?), but in the meantime I have some thinking to do. Here is what happened, if you have a few moments please read on and let me know what you think.

Friday was our first time out of the house since Monday (I had the flu), and as luck would have it the weather was gorgeous: warm, sunny, and full of the promise of spring. A perfect day to play at the park, and this was actually our second attempt, as earlier in the day he'd fallen asleep on the way. So by the time we finally got to the playground it was late afternoon and the usual parents and toddlers weren't there. Instead there was a group I'd never seen before: about a dozen kids, mostly elementary school age, and seven or eight moms, who were apparently all together. A group of the kids was sitting on and around the slide while two moms watched, which instantly pissed me off because the slide is Shuma's favourite piece of equipment and they were hogging it without even using it. I hate playground equipment hoggers!

The moms also failed to greet me, which would have been easily rectified with a cheerful "Konnichiwa!" from me, but seeing as they were slide hoggers I didn't bother. A mistake. The pre-emptive greeting is a powerful thing in Japan, and might have helped later on. Anyway, Shuma and I kicked a ball around for a while, but he really liked watching the other kids (like a lot of toddlers he is fascinated by older children) and eventually he lost interest in the ball and walked over to the slide to gawk at them.

That's when one of the boys, maybe seven years old, pointed at us and said "Gaijin da!" (A foreigner!) and when the other kids failed to show interest (credit to them) he tapped his buddy and repeated "Ne ne, gaijin iru yo!" (Hey, there's a foreigner!). I didn't react right away because I was kind of trying to figure out if he meant me or Shuma, or how he meant it. Because you know how sometimes kids just point out mundane stuff without meaning anything, like they'll see a dog and go "look, it's a dog!", then point to the sky and say "look, an airplane!"? I've been called "gaijin" by kids that way plenty of times, and it's not a big deal. That's just how kids are. But the way he said it, and the look on his face, made it obvious he wasn't just pointing out a curiosity. He meant it in a bad way.

I also hesitated because I was waiting to see what the moms nearby would do. I wasn't sure if either of them was his mom, but I still kind of expected them to say something. But no, nothing, so after the second comment I picked up Shuma, walked over to the slide with a big friendly smile and started to say "This boy's not a foreigner, he's Japanese!". Which is a woefully inadequate response because it fails to do deal with a few important things, but with my limited Japanese I figured was the best I could do. I hoped it would at least get him talking to us and maybe he'd say "But he looks like a gaijin" and I could tell the kid that Shuma was born in Japan, lives in Japan, has a Japanese Dad, a Japanese name, speaks Japanese (well, one word), and therefore he's Japanese. And maybe the kid would say, "Huh, I guess he IS Japanese" and accept it in the way that kids are able to quickly process mind-blowing new information. Or maybe he wouldn't get it at all, but at least he would have seen that we are human beings with real feelings and stuff, and the other kids would see how nice we are and what an asshole the other kid is, and the moms would feel guilty for not saying anything and also be impressed with my quiet dignity and stellar Japanese skills and next time I saw them at the park they'd greet me and make their kids get off the slide and play with Shuma.

But that's not what happened, because as soon as I opened my mouth one of the other kids poured a bucket of water down the slide, soaking the kids in its path and making a big mess, and they all started laughing and shouting and the moms started scolding and nobody heard me. The moms' scolding technique was the typical useless Japanese way that involves gently saying "Dame" (No) and "Yamete" (Stop it) a lot, so of course all of the kids ignored them, which made them fuss more, which made one of the boys yell "Baka!" (literally "idiot" but kind of an all-purpose slur that children definitely shouldn't yell at adults) back at the moms. What a kerfuffle.

So Shuma and I went off to play in the sandpit, as I'd missed the chance to say something and the slide was now completely unusable. I did notice the remaining moms going over to the slide to respond to the commotion, and got to see that the boy who'd called us "gaijin" had a vile woman for a mother, which somehow didn't console me. He also called her "baka" and told her to shut up when she yelled at him (no ineffective Japanese style fussing for her), so she dragged him off the slide and slapped his head several times while continuing the yelling. It's not actually all that rare to see parents hit their kids like that here, but it's certainly not the norm and I couldn't help thinking that if they were perfectly comfortable going through this routine in public, it must be at least as bad inside their home.

So the commotion calmed down and Shuma and continued playing, until out of nowhere we heard "gaijin" shouted again. I hadn't been paying attention so missed the context, but there the boy was pointing at us again. Again the adults ignored him, including his mother who was nearby this time. And that did it. Not believing that my son and I couldn't be left in peace in our park, and frustrated that I didn't have the language skills or opportunity to say anything, I wiped away the tears that were starting and carried Shuma to his tricycle. Which unfortunately was parked in such a way that I had to pass the group of awful moms and kids. The little brat was still staring at us so I said "Mou, 'gaijin da' wo yamete yo!" (Stop calling us 'gaijin'!), which is probably completely incorrect (both in grammar and politeness level) but I just had to say something. So of course all of the moms turn around and stare, and now I'm the crazy gaijin who runs around crying and yelling at kids.

So that's what happened. It's not so awful in retrospect, and I know there are kids and their parents who have experienced much, much worse. But I do think that my son has the right to play at our local park without being harassed, and am utterly frustrated by the fact that I am unable to defend him. So all I can do is raise him right, and one day he will proud of who he is and able to deal with mean people all by himself.

Now, what do I find so objectionable about the word "gaijin"? Well, the word itself doesn't bother me terribly, especially when directed at me. I don't like it much and would prefer to be called the proper "gaikokujin", or better yet, to not be singled out for my foreignness at all, but I've never really gotten worked up about it. It's nothing compared to the racial slurs that are heard in my country, and usually doesn't have any malice behind it (in my decade and a half in Japan I've only once been called gaijin- to my face, anyway- in a bad way). Actually many Japanese people don't really understand the difference between "gaijin" and "gaikokujin", and the subject deserves a post of its own. I don't have the time and space to discuss it, but Wikipedia has a basic explanation if you're curious.

But beyond the meaning of the word itself, my main objections are that it is simply an inaccurate description of my son, and it's just mean to taunt people who are different. Shuma is Japanese, and just because he has one non-Japanese parent doesn't make him a gaijin. And yes, he does look different, but it's not nice to point it out. How would the boy feel if I pointed at him and said "Look, an ugly boy!". Or called his mom a bitch or laughed at his dad for being bald? Not very nice, but kids don't know that unless they've been taught. Empathy and manners don't come naturally, and while I don't expect children to know why "gaijin" is a bad word, I do expect parents to teach them why it's not nice to call names.

Overalls

This entire outfit comes from Shuma's gramma. OK, at least half of his clothes come from gramma, and I'm really grateful because I really prefer Canadian clothes for this age. Not that Japan doesn't have great baby clothes, but Shuma is more of a toddler and toddler clothes here are exactly like older kid's clothes: boring (unless you're talking about girl toddlers, in which case there is no shortage of frilly pink princess wear).

Anyway, I especially like the overalls. These are his first Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls, and after trying several other types I can see why they're so popular. I'm not into brand names and designer labels, but these are very well made, good fit, and they stay on. If gramma doesn't send more I will just have to buy a bunch on my next visit. (They have Oshkosh here too but believe it or not they don't have overalls for baby boys, at least not at the ones I've been to. Girl overalls, with a skirt instead of pants? Tonnes. Those are big here for some reason.) But enough about overalls, what I really want to show you is this:

Look at that hair. Still no haircut, and it may just never happen because look at that hair! Yes, he does get mistaken for a girl occasionally, but it doesn't seem to offend him. Besides, if I need to cut his hair in a particular way to signal to the world that he's a boy then there's something wrong. I mean, he's wearing overalls!

New Year round up

Yes, it's the middle of February, so it seems a little late to be blogging about our new year's holidays, but they tend to drag it out here (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). So I already shared our nengajo (new year postcard) but I thought I'd show a few of the outtakes. He's holding the ball in some pictures partly as a distraction and partly to represent that flaming ball or pearl that Chinese and Japanese dragons are often depicted holding (don't ask me what it actually means).

This year we were only in Osaka for a few days and we stayed at a hotel. My mother-in-law broke her wrist in December and was unable to cook, clean or drive so we just visited during the day and helped out in the kitchen as well as we could. My sister-in-law took charge and did most of the work, but I was able to learn how to cook some of the osechi ryouri (the traditional new year's dishes) that my mother-in-law usually makes. No pictures as we were rather busy, but there are years of osechi pics in the archives (here is last year, for example). Here is a picture of the whole family taken at our hotel after a dinner out.

We had lunch at Haneda airport on our way back, at one of the small restaurants in Terminal 2's 3rd floor that share common seating overlooking the departures lobby. We've always avoided this little alley despite some interesting looking restaurants because it's kind of like a food court and the seating looks crowded and uncomfortable, but we noticed some nice big chairs in front of a Sri Lankan place called Court Lounge. The food was good and not outrageously overpriced, and upon sitting down we noticed that every chair is different and we'd definitely snagged the best ones- Shuma loved swiveling around his his big armchair. I think we'll eat here every time we fly from now on.

Back home I decided to try cooking some more osechi. I've never, ever had to do it because my MIL always does everything, so I didn't want to get too ambitious. I decided to just try a few simple favourites, so I did yakitai (roasted sea bream), kani sarada (crab salad) and ozoni (soup with mochi), along with some quick cabbage pickles (not really osechi, I just wanted something pickled). My in-laws always order a great big sea bream that comes already cooked, wild-caught in the Seto Inner Sea, known for its delicious bream. I've always been under the impression that it must be really hard to cook, but mine (a little farmed one from nowhere famous) turned out beautifully and was surprisingly easy. I want to make this again, not just for new year's.

The crab salad was nothing special, my MIL's is much better and is presented really beautifully.

But the ozoni was good, it's very hard to screw up. It's almost the same as MIL's: a clear dashi broth with chicken thigh, hakusai (Chinese cabbage), mitsuba (trefoil) and square-cut mochi (rice cake), but instead of namafu (raw wheat gluten) I used shiitake. That's it above, with some of the sea bream.

Just like in Osaka, the day after eating yakitai we had taichazuke, which involves making a broth with the leftover fish head and bones and serving it over rice with any leftover meat. This is probably my favourite new year's food of all.

On January 7th we ate nanakusagayu (rice porridge with the seven herbs of spring) without taking a picture, but the herbs and the final dish look exactly like this every single year so I didn't bother with a picture. A few days after that is Kagami Biraki, which is when you break the kagami mochi (rice cakes displayed during the new year's holidays). That's our kagami mochi above, and you can tell how busy/lazy I've been because look at this year's compared to the one we had a few years ago. I mean, no little altar, an ugly fake citrus on top- I'm not even trying.

The mochi was stuffed into abura-age (pockets of fried tofu) and added to oden (a stew of vegetables and various fish and tofu products), which is not at all traditional but as you can probably tell by now I'm not too big on perfectly following tradition these days.

It was yummy though, even if this picture makes it look gross.

The final chapter in a Japanese new year is (I think) Setsubun, which falls on February 3rd. This is a time to drive bad luck out of the house (in the form of oni, best described as an ogre or troll) and bring in good luck. This is done by throwing around dried soybeans, which is really fun to do but rather annoying after because the floor is littered with beans. I really want to sweep them up as soon as they are thrown but seems wrong somehow, so I always mean to leave them overnight and clean them the next day, but by then they are already crushed or kicked away into crevices and I forget. And then for weeks or even months after I find the stupid little beans in random places. Like finding a forgotten chocolate easter egg in June, except not because it's a tasteless bean.

This year I got smart and decided to throw something different. A lot of people through whole peanuts instead, because they're easier to clean up, but I'm not a fan of raw peanuts (and like I have time to sit around shelling them). So I went with little bags of mixed nuts, and it may look like total cheating because there are no soy nuts but it was in the Setsubun section next to all the proper beans and accessories.

Besides being easy to clean up, these packages contain corn nuts and now you too know how to say corn nut in Japanese. What an awesome name, and if you think it makes no sense think about the name "corn nut". It's not a nut, people!

Some families get festive and dress up the dad or other volunteers as the oni. Oni are always red and blue and have horns (or a horn) and usually look rather grumpy. These ones were made at my playgroup so are on the friendly side.

Shuma would only tolerate wearing it for a second or two, so Hideaki and I had to be the oni.

But Shuma happily participated in the throwing part. All other customs, like eating your age in roasted soybeans (yuck!) and eating ehomaki (a fat sushi roll that is supposed to bring luck but is just a made-up thing to get you to but sushi were discarded. I will consider eating my age in giant corn though.

How my life has changed

I shouldn't have expected much, considering what an awful news site Japan Today is, but I was amazed at how bad an article called "How foreigners’ daily lives change when they live in Japan" was (yes, that's actually the title). Perhaps not totally Japan Today's fault (well, except for that title), as it's a translation of a Japanese article which is itself just a bunch of translated posts from an English-language Japan Reference thread (phew!). They seem to have gone to some trouble to find the least interesting posts and strip them of any humour or insight, and the result is surprisingly boring.

It made me think about how my life has changed, and at first I couldn't think of any ways that weren't age or marriage related (I've done a lot of growing up since I coming to Japan at the tender age of 22 and getting married at 25, naturally). I learned to love olives a few years back, for example, which probably would have happened had I remained in Canada (and might have happened much earlier had I chosen to make my home in, say, Spain). I've also learned how to actually dress for the cold, which definitely wasn't influenced by my adopted home, as Japanese women wait for winter to wear their mini skirts and short-shorts. It's very odd, jeans and long skirts are saved for the sweltering summer months.

But I digress. I finally was able to think of some ways in which my life has changed since coming to Japan, and here are a few of them:

• I've become much shyer. I've always been shy but was starting to come out of my shell when I first got here, and my imaginary alter ego that never left Canada is a wildly extroverted socialite by now. But the real me, after years of living in a country where I am always the bumbling foreigner, has retreated so far into my shell that I'm stuck. It's partly laziness, because in Japan shyness is actually a virtue for women so there is little motivation to change, and it certainly wasn't helped when I lost the hearing in my left ear (try making new friends at a party when you can't hear what anyone is saying). But mostly I'm blaming this on Japan.
• I've learned to sleep in public. Like at the park, in the "rest rooms" (which really are for resting) at hot springs and bath houses, and on public transportation. It's often hard for me to stay awake during a long train ride, and I've been known to nod off while standing during rush hour.
• My manners are atrocious. I sniffle instead of blowing my nose, shuffle my sandles and slippers instead of picking up my feet properly when I walk, and I apply Japanese table manners to non-Japanese meals (like slurping noodles, drinking soup right from the bowl, and spearing large chunks of food on my fork and then returning them to the plate). I know that my glass is supposed to go at the top right side of my place setting, but in practice it goes where ever it fits. My chair stays pushed out far from the table and I hunch over my food to eat it. I have no use for paper napkins (let alone cloth)- why bother when there is a box of tissues on every surface of the house, including the kitchen table?
  
• I'm missing out on a lot of culture. I used to go to the movies weekly, more when I could afford it. I'd see Hollywood movies, documentaries, foreign films, anything. Here in Japan, movies cost a fortune to see at the theatre, and rental shops usually ignore non-blockbuster type films. Not to mention the long delay- movies are released months later in Japan, and then by the time a movie is available on DVD more than a year may have passed since I first heard of it, and I've already forgotten about it. Plus there's the subtitle problem- Japanese subtitles for a French film don't help me mutch. So I miss out on a lot of movies. And at my age I wouldnt expect to still be going to concerts and clubs like I used to, but I always assumed I'd just trade those for the symphony and the theatre and other grown-up stuff. Well, I've only checked out symphony prices here once and I don't remember the specifics, only that I concluded that live classical wasn't about to be come my new pastime. Then there's the library- I used to practically live there, but even if I were to find one with a decent English book selection it wouldn't be a place to relax and spend time at. Libraries here are the domain of old men, and they occupy every seat all day long leaving nowhere for a youngish book-loving lady to browse. I also once frequented museums and art galleries, taking advantage of discounted days or free nights. In Japan the major museums are pricey and never, ever offer discounts, and popular exhibits are horribly crowded. True, there are plenty of smaller galleries and museums here that are free or affordable, but they are often so small and/or specialized that they aren't worth going out of my way for. Or maybe that's just my lack of culture showing. Damn you, Japan!
  
• On the other hand, I watch less TV than I did when I lived in Canada, and that probably goes far to balance my lack of culture.
  
• My posture is the pits. I used to have excellent posture, and was complimented on it frequently. But in my sixteen years in Japan I think I've had a grand total of one person mention it. It's not because people don't dole out compliments here, because they do- but it tends to be about different things. Like my height, my "tall" nose, or my "small" face. (Come to think of it I rarely hear the latter anymore. I guess second chins cancel out small faces.) Or really dumb stuff like my chopstick skills or my Japanese ability (most often after saying a single word like "konnichiwa"). But my (formerly) straight back and strong, graceful walk? Not noticed or appreciated. In Japan, a beautiful lady can slump her shoulders, lower her head and clomp around in her high heels and still be considered a beautiful lady. Not that I need compliments to maintain good habits, but it's hard to stay motivated to keep up something that isn't valued. And in the meantime, after years of dealing with miniature-sized furniture, low countertops and forehead-level door frames here, I'm starting to blend right in. (Well, minus the high heels and the "beautiful lady" part. At least I still have a tall nose.)
• I no longer need to drink sweet drinks all the time. Pop is for special occasions (OK, weekends). Juice is a treat too and no longer comes in a bucket-sized glass. Coffee may be sweet but it's for waking up or to go with dessert. If I'm thirsty I drink water, or hot green tea, or cold barley tea, or something else that doesn't need sugar.
  
• I've become more of a meat eater. This may be a surprise, since the Japanese are supposed to live on fish and vegetables, but as any vegetarian here will tell you: meat is everywhere. I ate very little meat before I came to Japan, especially red meat. I didn't even like pork. I got most of my protein from tofu and beans, and animal protein was usually chicken and shrimp. Maybe some lean ground beef once in a while, but that's about it. And then I came to Japan, where meat was in everything, and it was delicious. Even pork- especially pork. It's not like the average person here eats tonnes of meat or anything, but but most meals will have a small amount of animal flesh, and that's a very sensible approach.
  
• I've learned to appreciate fat. This is also a bit counter-intuitive, since Japanese cuisine is thought to be so light and healthy. It can be, but the Japanese also give fat its due, acknowledging that moderate amounts of it can be a good thing. This was hard to accept at first. I was used to lean meats, skim milk and low-fat everything. When I first came to Japan, low-fat milk was impossible to find and I couldn't stomach to 4% fat milk that was the norm. Low-fat cheese or ice cream or muffins didn't exist. The heavy marbling of wagyu (Kobe-style Japanese beef) and the gelatinous fat of braised pork belly horrified me. But somewhere along the line I gave fat a chance and realized something: it sure is tasty! Now I know that there is nothing more delicious than an ice-cold glass of full fat milk, low-fat products are usually not worth eating, and fatty meat is heavenly. Actually, I think a lot of North Americans have also been enlighted in this way, thanks to the foodie movement (sorry, I hate the word "foodie" but how else can I put it?). Maybe I would have learned to love fat if I'd stayed in Canada, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been a wagyu steak that changed my mind.
  
• I've learned the importance of "ki wo tsukau" (to be considerate; to pay heed to another's needs). I've actually always been the type of person to make offers twice ("Hey, you want something to drink?" "No, thanks" "Are you sure?) or three times ("Are you sure you're sure?"). So in a superficial way I already got the concept, but it took a few years of living here for the true meaning of "ki wo tsukau" to sink in. It could be as simple as not hogging all the cookies on a shared platter, even though you're really hungry and they're your favourite kind. Or making sure that the person next to you can reach the soy sauce bottle, or doesn't have a bunch of empty dishes in her way. It sometimes shows up in weird ways, like a friend (or a few times, a stranger) entering the ladies room ahead of me and taking the washiki (Japanese-style squat toilet) stall and leaving the prized yoshiki (western style toilet) stall for me. An early lesson was learning to wake up my husband with a gentle kiss rather than a shove and "Hey, get up". The latter is actually easier, faster, and more immediately effective, but who wants to be woken up that way? I'm not all that good at it yet, and some people take it too far (it can easily turn into fussing, or be based on false assumptions, or cause excess inhibition), but when done well consideration is a very good skill for a human being to have.

There are many, many more, but it's past 10:00 and I need to get to bed. Can I blame that on Japan? Sure beats admitting I'm an lame old mom. For those of you living in Japan or otherwise abroad, how has your life changed?

Sushi Day

And after a snowy day comes a sick day, with the exertion of chasing around a toddler out in the cold turning a mild cold into a major one. Or that's what I'm telling myself: somehow sickness makes more sense when you can blame it on something. I've never had so many colds in my life, and of all the things they don't tell you about parenthood this is one of the most annoying.

But anyway. Sick days are no-cooking days, so we treated ourselves to some delivery sushi. It's not such a treat, actually, since the kind of sushi we can afford (from a cheap delivery-only chain) is really not all that good (not that you can't get really good sushi delivered, it's just very expensive). But it's not anything to complain about either, and we enjoyed it.

So did Shuma, much more than this crappy picture conveys. So here is a video:

Yes, it's two solid minutes of a child eating a cucumber roll. I'm sorry. But I did want to share his happy chewing noises with you, because I think they're pretty special. He makes them when he's really enjoying his food (or drink- he's a noisy nurser too), especially if it's something that requires lots of chewing or if he's sleepy. It can get pretty loud, and even embarrassing when we're out (people have to raise their voices to be heard over him) but I know I'll miss it when he grows out of it.

He'll grow out of it, right?

 

Yay for snow!

Today we woke up to snow! Not much of it, and it took a while to pile up enough to justify venturing out into the cold, but eventually we got out there and enjoyed it.

It's not his first time seeing snow, but last year he was too little to do anything more than look at it (or nap on it). This year he's old enough to react, and react he did- starting out with delight at seeing it falling all around him. He was somewhat less delighted to discover how cold it was after holding a snowball for a few seconds, and then spent the rest of the morning going back and forth between laughing and crying. He hasn't made up his mind about snow yet.

He kept whining to go, so we'd start walking home and then I'd turn around and he'd be wandering back into the snow. So we'd play for a few minutes and then he'd start whining or crying again, and we'd start walking back, and the whole thing would repeat. He just couldn't make up his mind about the whole thing, which makes him a lot like his mom.

My favourite part of the morning was seeing his footprints in the snow, one of his cutests "firsts" ever.

Time of chocolates

Here's a cute little romper adorned with an Engrish phrase and what appear to be Smarties. But it turns out they're not Smarties at all. When Hideaki asked why Shuma's outfit said "Time of chocolates" I said it was because of all the Smarties and he asked "What are Smarties?". Can you imagine? He's never heard of them, and they don't seem to exist here. Even after explaining what they are he wasn't convinced, and thought the candy depicted on the romper must be M&M's. Which is pretty dumb, because then they'd all be stamped with a little "m". Instead some of them have little smiley faces, which doesn't seem to match any known candy. Very mysterious.

Shuma couldn't care less, since he has yet to taste chocolate. He still thinks that bananas are the best thing ever.

This last picture, if only it were in focus, would be my favourite as it seems to show a fun-loving, slightly mischevious side of him. Or maybe it shows something else, and will some day end up on Born This Way.

In with the new

You've probably noticed things are a little different around here, and I thought I owed a bit of an explanation. I've been wanting to change both the name and the look of my blog for years, and a few days at the beginning of the year presented me with the opportunity. It came in the form of a teething tot, which meant lots of nursing and short naps (but only in my arms), leaving me with endless hours to conduct one-handed computer business. (Ew, that sounds dirty, but surely you know what I mean.)

First, the name. "Blue Lotus" doesn't really mean anything at all, I put about as much thought into it as I would a new email address, as when I started my blog, almost eight years ago, it was supposed to be just a simple journal for myself and maybe some folks back home. I didn't know I'd keep at it and eventually want to have a name that kind of reflected, if not who I am, than at least what I blog about. And I think the name fits quite nicely. I do feel like a fish out of water at times, both as an expat in a foreign land and as a new parent (and as a generally awkward person, lots of other times too). Plus I really like fish. There were several fish and water related names I considered, and if when I move back to Canada I'll change the name to "So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish".

The new look was an easy decision- I've hated my busy, cluttered look for a while and even I hadn't wanted to change the name I would have, as I felt it locked me into choosing the colour blue, and any images (I really wanted a banner with a picture) would have had to fit the theme. Checking my photo albums, I have tonnes of fish pictures, and only one picture of a blue lotus, which isn't even a lotus after all but a water lily (and it's also more purple than blue).

Although if I really wanted to name this blog after whatever I've taken the most pictures of, it would be called "The Shuma Blog". And let's face it, that's really what it's become. And no apologies, because my son is awesome, but I do look forward to some day having more of a life to blog about. For now though, I'm just happy to have a new, simpler design and a better name.

So it's still early January and my new year's resolution is already taken care of, and Shuma has two new molars. We're off to a good start.